December 20, 2014
"Thank you for coming, Rose."
Rose smiles placidly. She interlaces her fingers in her lap.
Dr. Isakai waits a few lingering moments to see if she will say anything, but she doesn't.
"It's been a while," he finally says. "We have a lot to catch up on. Are you still saying your daily affirmations?"
"Occasionally," Rose says. "Whenever I feel anxious. I don't need them as much anymore."
This is a lie. She has never, not even once, said those stupid 'affirmations' that Dr. Isakai recommended a couple years ago.
"That's very good," Dr. Isakai says. "I can tell you've made some real progress - just based on your grades and involvement with extracurricular activities. You're truly excelling."
She beams. "Why thank you, Dr. Isakai."
"I wanted to see you because, well - I want to make sure that you're adjusting to the changes in your life. Welcoming a new person into your family is always a challenge, but especially if that person is an adopted sibling." Rose winces a bit at this, almost imperceptibly.
"I think of a family rather like a team," Dr. Isakai continues, "and any new team goes through four key phases: forming, storming, nor--"
"Excuse me," Rose says, "but I'm not certain I need any coaching here. I know the phases of team development. And psychologically speaking? I'm doing just fine. Alabaster is the troubled one. Not me."
Dr. Isakai chuckles insincerely. "I forgot how blunt you are, Rose. Let me be more direct, then. How are you and Alabaster getting on?"
She brushes some invisible lint off her pleated skirt. "We don't get along, as I'm sure he made abundantly clear. But it's really nothing that I can help. It's all his fault. He's mentally unwell."
"Rose."
Rose clears her throat.
"Do you like Alabaster?"
"No. No, I can't say that I do."
"Why not?"
Rose's smile is faltering - she does her best to maintain it, but it has the quality of a plastic doll's at this point: taut, pained. Three minutes into her session and it's already revolving him. Just like every other fucking thing in her life these days.
"He's simply... he's simply just the worst," she manages.
"You two argue?"
"Oh, yes. Quite a lot, I should think."
Dr. Isakai uncrosses and recrosses his legs. "Rose, I am bound by doctor-patient confidentiality -- you're an intelligent girl, so I'm sure you already know: what this means is I can tell no one, not another soul, anything either you or Alabaster tell me. Not your parents. Not other doctors. Not the police. There are only two exceptions. The first is if you authorize it. The other is this: if I feel that you or someone else is in danger, I can make sure the person who's in danger gets the help they need."
"I'm not certain I see your point, Dr. Isakai."
"Rose, if Alabaster is hurting you - I can help you. All you have to do is tell me the honest truth. Has he ever abused you?"
Rose's shock is partly feigned and partly genuine. "Abused me? Dr. Isakai..."
Dr. Isakai cuts her off. "Abuse takes many forms. Some of them are subtle."
Rose briefly recalls incidents from the prior week as he continues: "Has he ever hit you--"
>"Stupid!" (whack) "Fucking!" (whack) "Cunt!"
"--or bullied you--"
>"Take it back if you want it so bad. Here -- whoops! You'll have to reach higher than that. ...You mean you're not tall enough? That's kind of pathetic, isn't it?"
"--or threatened you--"
>"Touch my computer again and I will fucking end you. I swear to god, Rose. I will put you in the ground."
"--or used degrading, emotionally demeaning language--"
>"You stupid, fat cow! Useless cocksucking cunt cumsumpster! Go fucking die, you bitch!"
"--or, in any way, at any time, done something to make you feel unsafe?"
Vividly now comes the memory of Alabaster on her bed, looming over her, propped up on his fists with his face hovering inches away from hers:
>"Tonight, Rose? Is it gonna happen tonight? Will I be back in here again tonight, after you go to sleep?"
"You can be honest. There's nothing to fear. I can help you."
Rose snaps out of her reverie.
"No, Dr. Isakai, no. He's never done any of those things."
He regards her silently.
"We don't get along, but he would never do something like that. The truth is..." she stares at her lap, thinking. After a turn, she suddenly looks back up, smiling bright. "The truth is, I feel even safer around Alabaster than most men, because I know he would never have the balls to hurt me."
"That's good," says Dr. Isakai, still skeptical. "But remember that if he ever does anything--"
"In fact, he doesn't have any balls at all."
"--I'm sorry?"
"He's a feckless, cowardly, sniveling little girl of a man. An idiot. A wimp."
"Rose, I think this is a bit--"
"Imagine a person - who's wrong. About everything. Not even just a few things, but LITERALLY everything. You never have a conversation with Alabaster and think, 'wow Alabaster, that's a great point.' Never. As in ever. One time he actually said..."
Dr. Isakai watches, chin on palm, as Rose stands and begins pacing around the room. Already he knows that this is going to be a long session.
An hour later, when he finally calls it off and sees her out - Rose, still seething - he can't put his finger on what's going on between those two.
At first he was worried that Alabaster's sexual fixation and aggressiveness might lead to some kind of abuse. Now, as he watches Rose stomp down the hallway, he starts to wonder if maybe he didn't have it backwards. Is Rose hurting Alabaster?